Rural Men's Mental Health

People Living In Rural Areas

Country living can be perceived as idilic and away from the pressures of city life. Where city living has its pressures, rural living has its own issues too, which are similar but different. We are all prone to challenging times and some issues facing people living in rural locations are; isolation, weather, embedded cultures, tight communities, financial factors, loneliness, family pressures, expectation and limited support networks.

In essence these are no different to people living anywhere on the globe, but in my experience these issues seem to occur within these more isolated and traditional communities.

Men's Mental Health

I want to take a moment to talk about men’s mental health. I will admit that I am generalising, however there is evidence to say that men will retreat and use logic to solve problems to external challenge and often do this on their own. This is not a bad strategy, but how it becomes a problem is when the challenges are beyond their control or skill set.

This can lead to feelings of stress, being out of control, feelings of worthlessness and isolation. It is another generalisation but evidence points towards women looking for help in their support networks, and work through their emotional reactions to external problems, especially ones outside of their control. On times women won’t necessarily try to fix the problem with logic, but instead understand their own reaction to external challenges within a support network.

Also men can feel it is a sign of weakness asking for help or can feel vulnerable, scared and ashamed when seeking assistance, thinking that their pride as the bread winner or the leader etc has been affected.

Please understand that in my experience, both men and women can use these two differing strategies, and face this dilemmas, as well as others, when dealing with life’s challenges. In my opinion both men and women may not look for help when they really need it, and I encourage everyone to seek assistance when facing challenges.

Barriers to Counselling

Some general barriers that people have for not seeking help:


I don’t need help, I can sort this out.

This is a very admirable stance, at it certainly doesn’t show defeatism. However as stated above with men, trying to solve a problem on your own doesn’t always work. With the help of other people, things can be explored, debated, sounded etc. This extra pair of eyes and ears can give angles not seen before. Using counselling services, time can be taken to focus on and explore angles and strategies, to solve problems but also to understand reactions to challenges.

I am not in control. I have failed!

Asking for help, is not admitting defeat. What it is doing is recognising that some challenges are bigger than our individual skill set and other approaches may need to be explored. This can also result in more effective and longer lasting resolution to a problem. It is not a weakness to say you need help. Asking of help is a strength as if you find people with the right skills to over come a challenge, the challenging can be faced more effectively and experiential insights can be leant along the way.

I am scared of being vulnerable.

It is true that in certain circumstances showing vulnerability can be seen as a weakness, which can be preyed upon, making the feelings or the problems worse. However ISC Counselling provide in a supportive and confidential setting, and through the therapeutic relationship and over a period of weeks, the issues which cause vulnerability and fear can be worked through, in a confidential and supportive environment, enabling problems to be addressed and overcome, rather than bottled up.

I should sort things out on my own.

When people face challenges, on times they feel they have got themselves into this predicament and should be responsible for getting themselves out. I agree that people need to be responsible for their actions. However, in my view, asking for help is being responsible for your actions. Often it is about finding the best support to help overcome challenges whilst increasing self-awareness and understanding.

I am fine

People often say they are fine when they really are not. This could be because in the past they have had bad experiences asking for help, felt they can overcome problems on their own, don’t have enough self worth to think their challenges are significant and many more. Giving yourself the chance to say, I need help and support, and build self awareness, to know when you are truly fine and not fine is a strength and wonderful life skill in a busy interconnect world. The skills of self awareness as well as others can be cultivated through the counselling process.

What happens if someone finds out

People can feel shame and vulnerable if others find out they are accessing a counselling service, though they should not. Everyone faces tough times in their lives, and generally people are supportive of someone who is finding help in their life. If this in not the case, then that is something that we can address inside of the counselling room. Building self awareness and self care and finding help to over come challenges in difficult times is a strength. If people are being negative towards you seeking help, we can work on strategies in dealing with more difficult people.

Whatever is discussed with in the counselling sessions, with in the counselling room is confidential and I adhere to all of the national codes of conduct. If I break any of the codes I lose my membership and ability to practice as a counsellor. All efforts are made to build trusting confidential relationships, so the best service can be provided.

Money. I can’t afford counselling, it is too expensive.

There is a charge to counselling. It is a professional service. There are many free services as well as services provided by the NHS. I volunteer for some of the free services myself. However I know there are long waiting lists to access these. In my opinion paying to work through problems that can be causing personal dilemmas can be seen as a good investment. Working on yourself with things like self-awareness, being compassionate with oneself and understanding with yourself, could be seen as a very valuable use of your time and money in your own personal development.



If you have any questions, concerns, fears or other matters arising please do not hesitate to get in touch via email or telephone. I want to stress again it doesn’t matter if you are a man or women, living in an urban or rural location, no matter what your background, ethnicity, sex, sexual orientation etc, we all need assistance on times, and ISC Counselling is here to support people in what we do.

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